Spam 2015


Continuing with my tradition of creating the last day’s poem from comments in my spam queue.  There is something weirdly poetic in the wording and syntax of the spam posts, so I go through them and pull out the phrases that amuse me and string them together into a… well… keep reading.  (There aren’t any spam comments for this blog, so I raided my Novel Notes blog.)


This year I actually have two poems, courtesy of one very long wall of words (almost 3000 of them!) that is apparently the source document for spammers, as I found the words to other posts hidden within it. It was too good not to post but too hard to merge into other spam, so it’s getting it’s own poem.


Spam 1


It’s such as you learn my thoughts! You appear to know

approximately this:

social production and life are closely related

compatibility issues.

it has some overlapping

as with the water.


Just desire to say your article is as astounding.


The clearness you put up is simply nice and

I can think you’re knowledgeable

like you wrote the e-book in it or something

on this subject.


Thanks designed for sharing

such a fastidious opinion.

Thank you 1,000,000 and please carry on

the enjoyable work.



Spam 2
(aka: Help! I Swallowed a Thesaurus!)

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line} {more than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays|today|lately|as of

late}, {yet|but} I {never|by no means} {found|discovered} any {interesting|fascinating|attention-grabbing} article like yours.

{It’s|It is} {lovely|pretty|beautiful} {worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} forr me.


{It’s|It is} pretty worth enough for me.


{In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggerss made {just right|good|excellent} {content|content material} as {you

did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web} {will be|shall be|might

be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} {much

more|a lot more} {useful|helpful} than ever



I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.

{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|


{I have|I’ve} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish to|desire to} suggest you {few|some} interesting things

or {advice|suggestions|tips}. {Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write next articles referring to this article.


I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things about it!|


{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make

some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.



And that, my friends, is that.  NaPoWriMo is over and I’ll see you all in eleven months.



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Epic Life

Adventures abound!


Today I defeated

The Troll of Technology,


nearly lost a friend to

The Kobold of Communication,



The Lumbering Laundry Leviathan

(but it is starting to return already),


fed the Hungry Horde,



The Miasma of Mess

from the items in

The Sink of Soaking,


sang a wondrous song of days

gone by,

killed Time,


and rid a tower of

The Reek of Refuse.


But it was just

another day

in the life

of a fantasy heroine.



(When I’m not writing bad poetry, I’m writing slightly less bad fantasy (and occasionally science fiction) novels.  This poem is a light hearted attempt to describe a mundane day in a more… epic… light.)

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Water Woes

I dream

of polluted water

where no water should even be.

People die

if they touch it – it flows

through a desert city


a beautiful monument

to the cost of pride.


Man’s inhumanity to the world.


Half a world

away, there is no water,

not even poisoned,

to grow the crops

that were never meant

to grow there.


A sad testimony

to the cost of greed.


Man’s dominion over the earth.






This poem actually did come from a dream of people dying from touching polluted water, mingled with pictures of the city of Dubai.  I woke with the images still in my head and somehow it connected to the drought in California.

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So Many Things

so little time. My life

is cluttered, my time

is not my own.  It belongs

to things…

things undone

things to do

things I don’t know

          what to do with

things I have to do

things I want to do

things I don’t want to do

          (ever again)

And things

are taking over my life

and I

don’t know how

to take it back.



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There are so many things

to do

scattered in my mind.

I make lists

of things to do,

a vain attempt

to get a grip

on a life gone wild,

out of control.  A list

is a poor weapon

to force order

from chaos.  And worse,

I have lost my list

of lists

so I am drowning

in things undone,

buried alive beneath

the tsunami of

forgotten things.


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After Midnight

Part of me says I should

go to bed

get some sleep

start over

in the morning

but there is so much

yet undone… How can I sleep

when guilt rides my dreams?



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Snow Job

One week left

in the cruelest month,

far too late

for a practical joke,

but I stepped outside

to a biting wind

blowing snow

and unhappy robins.

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